With Monday’s announcement that Nobel Prize for Medicine was given to Robert Edwards, one of the pioneers of in vitro fertilization (also known as IVF), we thought it was time to address couples struggling with infertility and looking to IVF and adoption as alternatives for starting a family. Although we recognize that for some this is still a hotly debated topic, there is no denying that for those dealing with this reality, this is painful moment in their lives that deserves compassion and support.
Support can come in many ways, but often a great need is financial support, since infertility is often not covered by insurance, and IVF, donor treatments and adoption alternatives can be costly.
Baby gift registries and showers have long been a way to prepare new parents with what they’ll need. At Deposit a Gift we’ve learned that these ’starter needs’ take many forms:
- there are parents that only get the basics, and then use monetary gifts to buy as they go
- some people prefer gently loved items from friends
- still others prefer experiential gift support, like gifts towards activities or saving for college
However, for couples dealing with infertility, ’starter needs’ come earlier and take a different shape. Although they will ultimately need tangibles, their initial needs consist of the means to actually get the child, be it via IVF, donor or adoption. It can be quite complex and no one likes to ask, but given the acceptance of baby gift registries, it makes sense that the perfect gift for people struggling with infertility would be financial support towards the process.
Financial gifts towards the process can be helpful in many ways beyond the obvious:
- Offers a tangible way for friends and family feeling helpless to show support
- Facilitates the conversation about what the process entails
- Stops the isolation by putting it out in the open
- Offers an opportunity to shine a positive light on the effort to create a family (even an excuse to celebrate!), during a moment that can be dark and stressful
YOU’RE NOT ‘ASKING,’ YOU’RE REGISTERING: Remove the stigma of asking for money by creating a registry of real gift items that people can contribute to. It works the same as a regular registry, offering a sentimental and fun gifting experience for givers, but gets you what you really need at this time in your life.
HERE ARE SOME IDEAS:
IVF and Donor:
Adoption:
A Shower? Really?!?
You may recall that a few weeks ago we did a post about creative shower ideas, our favorite being an adoption party! There are so many ways to show people struggling with infertility compassion and help them welcome a child into their home. As you saw in BabyCenter’s recent post of top shower trends, now more than ever we are giving ourselves permission to think outside the box when it comes to celebrating and preparing for baby. Modern times, call for modern solutions. Even in a moment like this, it is possible to find a way to honor what you’re going through in a positive way. Though you may be mired in your struggle, friends may take a different perspective and want to celebrate the fact that you’re starting a family and offer their support to get you there.
Know Your Resources:
There is no doubt that infertility is a challenging time in one’s life. Most friends and family want to be supportive, but often don’t know what to do. (This NY Times article talks about proactive ways to ask for help in any crisis.) Resolve, the national infertility organization in the U.S., can help with many things, from advice on how to share with loved ones, to free local support groups. The best way to survive and thrive is to know the resources available and find what works for you:
- Find support with people going through a similar situation
- Talk to experts and connect with specialized organizationsÂ
- Read books that pertain to your specific situation and offer insight, advice and even levity
- Use Deposit a Gift to ease the financial burden if your loved ones are asking for a way to help
Our goal at Deposit a Gift is to offer a tool that is versatile and inclusive for all people experiencing life’s biggest moments. We hope to be a source of support for those struggling with infertility as well. If you have questions, don’t hesitate to contact us or comment below. Cheers!
[...] for a Family: For some, getting pregnant is easy, but as more and more people talk opening about the challenges of infertility, we’ve come to realize that having a family isn’t always as simple as it looks and can [...]